I've been reading The Gypsy Mama's blog for awhile, finally decided to be courageous and link up with her on Fridays for what she calls "Five Minute Friday."
The exercise is simply "to write for five minutes flat on Fridays -- no editing, no over-thinking, no backtracking. We write because we want to, not because we have to. We write for fun, for joy, for discovery. We just write without worrying if it's write or not." So, please don't judge my grammatical errors, typos or inconsistent thoughts. I'm simply going to write for five minutes, and will link up with her each Friday.
I've hesitated because honestly, I'm intimidated. She typically has hundreds of link ups from really great writers. And as we're well aware, I let fear and insecurity dominate on most days.
But as I read today's topic, I just knew it was time for me to put on my big girl underwear and just do it. I encourage you to do the same.
Today's topic: REAL.
She sits and talks and laughs in a circle with other women, participating in conversation and telling lavish stories. But as I look deep into her eyes, I am saddened at what I see. What I see is a facade, a presentation of who she thinks she is supposed to be. Who she really is remains hidden behind her designer frames.
I long for her to just let her hair down and share. I want to connect with her on a level that is real. That comes from the heart. That binds us together as women and as friends…not on a level that leaves me feeling like she's a stranger, even though I've known her for years.
It occurs to me that I sometimes allow myself to become her. Although I've remained adamant that "I'll never…" it is so easy sometimes to just slip into that role and stay put, keeping walls up. But then I hear Jesus whispering to me saying "Who are you? That's not you."
I often feel like I shouldn't "put it all out there." That either no one really cares, or that I'm inviting scrutiny and judgment. But I can't help it. That's who I am. I want to be real, and whether or not I fail at it miserably, I still want to try.