I'm So Not

Paxton's napping…I have some alone time…and thanks to my new schedule, I'm pretty caught up on work.

So I felt like I should carpe the hour and write something.

"SOMETHING"

But really, I saw this post recently at Kelly's Korner, and thought it was fabulous. She listed all the things that she is absolutely sure she's Not -- Not a good hat wearer, Not scheduled, Not crafty -- and her acceptance of said Nots. I read her post and realized a couple things: one, we should be friends; and two, there are a lot of things I'm Not as well. Some I've accepted…and some I really need to work on.

So today's post will be a direct rip-off and copy of Kelly's post.

Here we go:

1. I'm Not Original. I wish I didn't have to copy someone else's idea for blog posts.

2. I'm Not Confident. I wish I could just throw on jeans and a t-shirt without having to try four pairs of jeans and three shirts to find the set that covers my flaws best.

3. I wish I didn't care so much about number 2.

4. I'm Not a Cook. I wish I could whip up something fabulous for meals without having to consult hundreds of meal plans and cookbooks for ideas. I know my family is tired of tacos, pasta, chili and some kind of chicken.

5. Okay, I have to take that one back. I don't really wish that. I'm totally okay with being predicable in the kitchen.

6. I'm Not Crafty. I don't have the motivation to make scrapbooks or photo albums. One day, my kids will sit down to an external hard drive and reminisce about their childhood. I'm so 3008.

7. I'm Not a Necklace Wearer. I see hundreds of adorable necklaces all the time - in stores, online, on people - and want them so badly. And then I purchase them. And then I realize I'm not built to really pull off a good necklace. Especially a chunky one. I love the idea of them, but when I try it out, it looks hideous.

8. I'm Not a Good Phone Talker. Really, unless you're Greg, it's business or it's your birthday, I'm just not going to talk on the phone. It's not personal at all and I promise I still love you. I'm just terrible with the phone these days. Horrible. Deplorable, really. And if Jesus' return is imminent and I do answer right when you call me, I'm going to try to get off in about 10 minutes. I think it's because I spent all of high school on the phone, and all my words have run out (verbal ones only, obviously). That and the threat of losing service for no good reason in the mountains has made phone conversations no fun.

9. I'm Not a Good Thank-You Noter. This is worse than the phone calls, and I know that. I have such, SUCH good intentions. Every single time, I do. But somehow, I will forget to just sit down and write the thank you. I'll mean to…I'll think about it at midnight…but in the light of day I can't get it together. Maybe because I'm not from the South originally and it's a very Southern thing? (To which I know I'll hear the "no, it's an etiquette thing.") But growing up we just didn't send or receive thank you notes. Ever really. Unless it was a job interview. Or maybe it was my family? I JUST DON'T KNOW. Either way, I try to work on this every single holiday and birthday. I do. Especially because I really don't want my kids to have this affliction. Please grant me some grace here. I promise I love you!

9. I'm Not Secure. I wish I didn't worry so much about what people think about me. I don't worry as much any more about what people think about my work…or my writing…or my home…or even my (lack of) cooking. But I worry still about what people think about me, and mainly all the superficial stuff like:
   - Do people think my teeth are too yellow?
   - Do people think I've gained weight since I ran the half marathon a year ago?
   - Do people think I'm too sarcastic?
   - Do people think I'm spiritual enough?
   - Do people wish I'd get collagen and botox to fill up the stress wrinkle between my eyebrows
     because it scares them?
You get the idea. It's straight up EXHAUSTING. But I'm totally insecure. That's no secret. God and I are working diligently on this, I assure you.

10. I'm Not Dressy. Yous guys, I'm so incredibly comfortable in yoga pants and a long-sleeved shirt. If you see me in jeans and boots or any kind of heel, it's a big deal. I'm trying to be a little more "put together" for days I go to choir, or for small group or what have you. But I'm not comfortable when you see me like that. My favorite day of the week is what I like to call No Makeup Monday. It's a welcome relief from a weekend of events, church and non-tennis shoe attire.

What is it you wish you were…but aren't? Don't leave a sista hangin', my homies. Give it up.